If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation
by Dead Man Walking
Summary: Undisputed Champion! After King of the Ring, Taker is STILL the Undisputed Champion, but I can't get the freakin' story to upload!
1. It's All About The Undertaker

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Disclaimer: I refuse to acknowledge the new name given to the Federation. I don't own it, nor do I own the characters, but Lord, what I wouldn't give to own The Undertaker/Mark Callaway for just one night!  
  
I guess you could say I'm a big fan of wrestling and sports entertainment in general. Every Monday night, you will find me camped out in front of the tube watching "Raw". My reasons for watching aren't so complicated. I love The Undertaker and have for nearly 12 years.  
  
If I owned the WWF, I would probably upset a lot of fans. You have to understand. I love The Undertaker. I don't like Stone Cold, The Rock, or any of those other pretty boys out there. I am all about the Deadman. He's the Phenom, a legend among other wrestlers and he gets no respect from the fans or the guys in the office. That'd be the first thing I changed!  
  
For example, in his illustrious career, The Undertaker has been Champion a total of three times (that's not including his stints as a tag champion, that's strictly heavyweight). The Rock and Stone Cold each held that same title more than three times in one year! That's ludicrous. The Undertaker has given so much to the sport.  
  
As owner of the Federation, I would have final say in all business matters involving all the wrestlers. You have to understand one thing before I continue. Mark Callaway is 40 years old. The Rock just turned what, 27? 28? Stone Cold is in his 30's. That means they have long careers stretched above them. Mark Callaway doesn't. Realistically, he is probably in the last 3-5 years of his career. The Deadman era will be at an end, never to be replaced.  
  
Since we have that straight, let me continue here. I think my first order of business would of course be for The Undertaker to regain the title at "Judgment Day". There would be no title defenses for a short stint, just appearances by 'Taker on both "Raw" (where he is a staple) and on "Smackdown".  
  
Why you ask? Well, the answer is simple. I would understand that Mark Callaway/The Undertaker has given so much to my company and I would feel the need to give him something he hasn't gotten in years. Respect. I would want him to go out on top of his game, the undisputed Heavyweight Champion. I'm not saying he would hold the bloody title until he retired, but he would certainly headline all the matches, be the main event once again.  
  
I'm not saying the other guys don't deserve it. Hell, if you look at some of them, they will never know what it's like to have the honor of being introduced as the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World. All I'm saying is, you have to give credit where credit is due, and dammit! The Undertaker deserves respect!  
  
If I owned the Federation, he would know what it was like to be respected by his peers and fans again. No doubt there is a lot of respect in the locker room, but the fans are booing when his music starts. If I was in charge, that would change so quickly. No more bad scripts, no more whining.  
  
There would just be The Undertaker with me by his side, on top of his game, respected and loved by the fans, looked at with respect and awe by his peers, and able to go out with a bang and never be forgotten.  
  
That's my dream. To see one of the all-time greats finally be recognized. To see my Undertaker as a main event player again. To see The Phenom, The Deadman, The Big Dog be once again crowned Undisputed Champion.  
  
-End- 


	2. Why I Don't Like the Other Guys

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Part II  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own 'em, and for that, they give many thanks. I'd still give all I had to own Mark Callaway/The Undertaker for a night..hehe.  
  
  
  
Alright, here's the second part in my "If I Owned" series. I think I'd like to get started tonight by explaining why it is I don't like the other superstars that much. For instance, when I hear the Rock's music start, my ass begins to twitch!  
  
Don't like him for a number of reasons. First off, I don't like his attitude. I'm sure there are millions (and millions shudder) of adolescent girls out there who just go nuts when someone mentions his name. He just gets under my skin, I dunno why. I think it's that damned eyebrow. Every time he raises it, I wish I had a razor to cut it off! The biggest reason I don't like Cocky Rocky is the fact that he's so back and forth. One month he's kissing the fans asses. The next month, it's all about the corporate ass he can kiss. That's my opinion. Can't help, won't try.  
  
Moving on to Stone Cold. Once again, it all comes down to the attitude. If I hear him say "what?" one more time, I will scream so loudly, it's likely you will hear it wherever you live! I don't like his condescending ways. When his storyline dictated he would join the Alliance that did it for me. I don't like wrestlers who are so wishy-washy.  
  
The Phenom has had many different storylines, but it's always been about the WWF. Even when he had the whole Ministry thing going, it was still all about the WWF. You don't see Undertaker running from one faction to another, do you? I didn't think so.  
  
I could go through the entire list of superstars, but that would take too long. I think what I'm trying to say here is basically this. Undertaker has been the WWF for so long! He deserves to be treated well. He just celebrated his 40th birthday March 24, so I know he doesn't have long left in the squared circle.  
  
How many people can argue the fact that he's one of the most awesome performers past or present? How many people can say that when they think of the WWF, they don't automatically think of The Undertaker? I'm sure there aren't many.  
  
Anyway, I think if I owned the Federation, I'd probably have Stone Cold and The Rock know what it's like to be booed and disrespected by the fans. That'd give people an idea of what it's like to be The Undertaker. Am I making any sense here? Is anyone following me at all? Please tell me if you think I'm right at all here.  
  
I'm going to end this for tonight. It's Saturday night, one week and one day from "Judgement Day". We shall see what The Undertaker's fate shall be, huh? Oh yes, tell me something. How people were completely pissed off at the end of last week's "Raw" when 'Taker's bike was mutilated?? My God, I was ready to hunt down and kill Hogan for that one!  
  
At any rate, long live the Deadman! (I love the irony behind that!) 


	3. New Developments

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Part III  
  
Disclaimer: I'm still wishing I owned them, especially Mark/'Taker  
  
Well, it's Sunday night and I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. Mine was great, spent the day at work feeding and taking care of nearly 200 people at the country club I'm employed at. But that's neither here nor there.  
  
I've got some hot new gossip to share with all you fans of The Undertaker. I heard from a fairly reliable source that the Deadman's wife is not being faithful! You'll never guess who she's running around with either! Would you believe Triple H? Yea, you read that right. I said Mark Callaway's wife is believed to be having an affair with none other than The Game! Doesn't make sense?  
  
I have some theories here that might clear it up for you. At the last PPV, The Undertaker attacked Triple H during his title match with Hulk Hogan. The attack resulted in Hunter losing his coveted Undisputed Championship. Skeptics might say the attack was storyline dictated, but tell me why Callaway was fined heavily be the Federation after the PPV?  
  
The next night, 'Taker was violently attacked by Hunter during "Raw". Of course, it's to be expected after all, 'Taker did help him lose that title. This attack was different. 'Taker suffered bruised ribs at the hands on the livid Game. Ok, injuries accidentally occur all the time, but something about this felt different. 'Taker never defended himself. That's very unlike Mark, to just stand there and take a beating? I don't think so.  
  
Anyway, what I'm thinking is this, I think 'Taker will defeat Hogan at "Judgment Day" and hold the title for a while. Sometime, in the not so distant future, I would think that he would put his title up against Hunter. Sara would, of course, play a huge role in either his victory (not likely, however sad that sounds) or defeat.  
  
If what I hear is true, The Undertaker/Mark Callaway is surely in for a long bumpy ride and it saddens me to think of what pain he is or might be going through. All the signs are pointing in that direction though. Like I said, the attack against Hunter at the last PPV was Mark acting alone. And he paid a fine for it. Sara (and I quote this without permission) is nothing more than a gold digging leach and Mark would be better off without her in the long run.  
  
Oh well, we'll see what happens. We're one week away from "Judgment Day" and The Undertaker's first title shot in forever! Let's just hope McMahon takes his finger out of his ass long enough to give the 'Taker what's rightfully his.  
  
On a side note, am I the only one getting tired of all this garbage that has accompanied the big split? I'm glad pretty boy Rock is gone, along with HHH, but I still have to put up with Stone Cold and his "what?" shit. I think I said this once already, but if I hear that stupid crap one more time, I'm going to have to hurt somebody! One of my faves (a very distant second to The Undertaker) just "turned" bad. I can't believe how they are botching Ric Flair all of a sudden! The "Nature Boy" in the New World Order kinda bothers me a bit. But again, that's neither here nor there.  
  
I'm going to end this by saying that I'm sick and tired of the way The Undertaker is being treated by the corporate brass. As fans and loyal supporters of not only 'Taker, but the WWF in general, I think we deserve better from the Deadman and the guys in the front office. It's time, time for the Undertaker to once again be crowned Undisputed Champion.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!!!  
  
-end- 


	4. Red, White, and Bald?!

1 "If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 4  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything, so don't sue me or something. I'd love to own Mark for just one night, but since I don't..  
  
Six days. Only six days remain 'til The Undertaker and Hogan face off in the squared circle. Six days until the Undertaker makes things right. Six days 'til he is crowned undisputed Champion.  
  
I've got part of the line up for the PPV, plus a recap of tonight's "Raw" (Monday, May 13, 2002). I'll start with "Raw". Starting things off was a match between Brock Lesnar and the Hardy Boys. Paul Heyman interfered and earned himself a disqualification. He then made the announcement that he and Lesnar would team up to face the Hardys at "Judgment Day".  
  
Ric Flair followed that up by making the announcement that there would be a title match between he and Hogan later that night. The match was no DQ, which Flair lost thanks to a Stone Cold Stunner.  
  
Planet Stasiack had a very quick match with Eddie Guerrero. Rob Van Dam joined the wrestlers at ringside. After Guerrero hit Stasiack with his version of the frog splash, Van Dam jumped in the ring and showed Eddie why he deserves to be the Intercontinental Champion.  
  
Terri Runnells and Molly Holly faced off and Molly scored the pin fall, though it was pretty much a fluke. Terri had her the whole match and the hurricanrana off the top was a nice touch by Miss Runnells. Steven Regal, who was a guest commentator, told Molly after the match that he admired the way she could get things done without "hiking up her skirt and showing her bosoms". He escorted her up the ramp after her victory.  
  
I must admit to being somewhat disgusted with the whole Flair/Hogan match. It turned into the longest ten minutes of my entire life! I can't believe Hogan had the audacity to come out on a bike after the ridiculous stunt he pulled last week. It did end up coming back to haunt him later that night.  
  
The Undertaker made his first appearance of the night after that match. Coach was trying to get some sort of reaction out of the Deadman after last week's events, but Taker just kept butting his head against the wall before subjecting Coach to a cold, lifeless stare down before stalking off.  
  
On a lighter note, Trish Stratus became the Women's Champ in a mixed tag match. It was Trish and Bubba Dudley versus Jazz and Steven Richards. After Trish scored with "Stratusfaction", Bubba put Jazz through a table at Trish's direction.  
  
X-Pac and The Big Show defeated Bradshaw in a handicap match. Was it a message to Stone Cold? You bet your ass it was. They demolished Bradshaw and left him in a heap in the middle of the ring. Stone Cold is in for a good fight next Sunday.  
  
Hogan was interviewed after his match and decided he would stay and help Stone Cold in his match later on, but The Undertaker had different plans. He attacked Hogan and hog tied him to Hogan's own bike and proceeded to give him a free ride through the arena. I was guilty of laughing my ass off as I watched. It was good to see Hogan get what he deserved.  
  
Stone Cold's match turned out to be a LumberJack match against the newest member of the New World Order. Turned out to be Booker T. I'm still scratching my head over that one. Austin was victorious in the end. "Raw" ended with him stumbling up the ramp.  
  
Next order of business is the partial line up of matches for "Judgment Day". Kurt Angle and Edge are having a Hair vs. Hair match. I really liked what Edge said. He said something to the effect of, "After Sunday, your Olympic Hero will be Red, White, and Bald!" I can't imagine Edge/Adam Copeland no longer having that glorious mane of hair.  
  
Eddie Guerrero will be putting his Intercontinental Title up against none other than RVD. That should be an interesting match. I find that I like RVD a little. He's flashy, cocky, and much too arrogant, but I can't help but pull for him from time to time. Hell, anybody's better than Guerrero!  
  
As I said earlier, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman will be facing the Hardys in a tag match. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I don't particularly care about any of the participants, so it will probably not be seen by me. I'll just take an extended smoke break!  
  
Interestingly enough, Triple H will face Chris Jericho in a Hell in the Cell contest. I should enjoy this one a lot. I don't care who wins, as long as it's not Jericho! I can't stand his whining, sniveling ass! Don't like Hunter either, but I hate Jericho more!  
  
The most important match of the night will of course be MY Deadman facing Hulk Hogan (ugh!) in an Undisputed Title match. I bet you can't guess who I'm pulling for in this one. Realistically, Hogan doesn't have much of a chance. How many 50+ year old men do you know that can beat the shit out of a 40-year-old workhorse in prime condition? Not many! Of course, it's all about the script, but I have to give the edge to The Undertaker, not just because I love him dearly, but because it's not believable for Hogan to beat him. Though his leg drop is vicious! laughs sarcastically Doesn't anybody else think it's funny how his finishing move is nothing more than a sissy ass leg drop?! chuckles My grandma (who is 83 mind you) could kick outta that!  
  
Anyway, enough of that. I'm sure it will be interesting either way, but I'm hoping the Darkness will once again reign supreme! Ok, ok. I'm hoping the Bad Ass will live up to his name and finally end this silly comeback of Hogan's. It's time the man retires (for good!).  
  
Alright, I'm done ranting for the night. Send me your thoughts on what you think would happen Sunday. I look forward to reading what you have to say. ( Goodnight.  
  
Long live the Deadman!  
  
-end- 


	5. Judgment Day

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 5  
  
Disclaimer: Uh, I don't own anything. Wouldn't mind owning Mark for the night..hehe.  
  
Alright, we are less than a week away from "Judgment Day" and I have to tell you that I'm pretty excited. This will be the first time The Undertaker has gotten a title shot in a very long while. Way too long, if you ask me.  
  
I'm still laughing over the outcome of "Raw" last night. Watching 'Taker drag Hogan around by his own bike was hilarious! My grandma, who loves Flair by the way, was livid. She thinks that 'Taker really hurt Hogan badly. It wouldn't be good if Terry did suffer injuries, but I think it was a classic case of justice being served. Winning the title will just be the icing on the cake.  
  
I read the new WWF Magazine, and boy did it suck! There was hardly any mention of 'Taker's huge victory over Flair at Wrestlemania. A few pictures and a tiny blurb was all the Deadman got for his effort. There was a fairly decent pinup of 'Taker in there, promoting the PPV. It was kind of neat, had some nooses hanging from the gallows and the 'Taker glaring.  
  
On a side note, I watched Wrestlemania 14 today. Hadn't seen it in awhile, so I wanted to catch myself up. That was the Hell in the Cell match he had with Boss Man. Of course, the Ministry of Darkness was in full swing at that time. I loved The Undertaker back in those days. His long hair, black outfit, and those eyes! Good Lord!  
  
In that match, he beat Boss Man with the Tombstone Piledriver and the Brood came down. Edge, Christian, and Gangrel broke into the cage and lowered a noose. 'Taker put the noose around Boss Man's neck and Paul Bearer raised the Cell. It was pretty amazing to see the Boss Man being hung. As he started turning purple, the lights lowered and the Undertaker just stared up at him, turning him around so that he could see the damage. My buddy Sam and I just looked at each other with wide eyes. There was no way that wasn't real. Boss Man's entire body weight was on his neck. shudders It was something else.  
  
At any rate, I'm just getting geared up for the PPV Sunday. It should be intense, whatever the outcome. I'm just hoping that HHH doesn't return Undertaker's favor and interfere. Oh yea, I wanted to ask this. Can anyone imagine Edge with no hair? I'm sure having a hard time here. It would be funny on Angle, but Edge's hair is just so pretty and so long.  
  
Ok, ok. It's time for me to close this for tonight. It's going on 3AM and I have work in the morning. Send me your thoughts.  
  
Long Live the DEADMAN!!!!!  
  
-end- 


	6. What Would Really Happen If I Was The Bo...

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 6  
  
Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own them. Wish I did, but I don't. If I did own them though, I think the Undertaker would be my love slave..LOL!  
  
Hello again wrestling fans. I know I've not really been writing about what would happen if I really did own the Federation (I still refuse to call it by that other name). So, I thought I'd try again, tell you what this is really all about.  
  
Well, as I stated in my first chapter, The Undertaker is and always has been my favorite wrestler. As you all know, Mark Callaway has been on the receiving end of some pretty shitty script-writing here lately. The thing that irks me, and the thing I would change first, is the fact that he isn't Mr. Main Event anymore.  
  
The Rock, Triple H, Stone Cold, and Hogan are all phenomenal athletes and have done great things for the world of sports entertainment. The Undertaker, however, is The Phenom and carried the Federation when those guys were out with injuries. No one can say that he isn't equally as worthy.  
  
For the year (give or take a month or two each way) Mark Callaway was out, the Federation just wasn't the same. He's the American Badass for goodness sake! To have a WWF with no Undertaker is to have no WWF at all. I'm not saying that he's the greatest of all time, but pound for pound, he's just as damned good (if not better!) than the rest of the clowns employed by Vince McMahon.  
  
Mr. McMahon is definitely a man to respect. He is sports entertainment! But I have to say that he's done a fairly foul job of handling the resident Deadman. If I had 6'10" of rock hard muscle in my employ, the last thing he'd be doing is opening shows and getting screwed daily.  
  
I think I'd start by having The Undertaker become and remain Undisputed Champion for sometime. I don't mean he'd just hold the title with no defenses, but he would meet and beat every challenger, the way he used to. Sure, he's getting older. I mean, he just turned 40 in March (Happy Late Birthday Mark!!) and he's not in the same shape he was 12 years ago, but he's still a formidable presence in the ring and he can still keep up with the best of them.  
  
This whole draft thing never would have happened if I was in charge. I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, bar none! First off, separating the wresters might be a good idea, but that's what weight classifications are for. laughs  
  
Alright, second thing. I don't like Triple H anymore. Lost respect for him a long time ago. He'd be my show starter. Instead of headlining matches, his ass would be the opening match on "Raw" and "Smackdown" for a long while. The Rock would probably have the second match of the night! Followed by Stone Cold (what?) and Hogan. I can't stand those clowns.  
  
The Undertaker as Champion just rings beautifully in my ears. I love the idea of him being back on top, so that's what would happen, very quickly. Don't think I'm just being dumb because he's who I like. You have to understand. He's been the victim for so many years and now it's just time for a change.  
  
At any rate, I think if I owned the Federation, things would certainly be great for The Undertaker/Mark Callaway. Of course, it would suck ass for the rest of the stars, because 'Taker would be my main focus. Sucks, huh? Bet you all are really glad I don't own it…  
  
On that note, I think I'm pausing for tonight. After Sunday, when Callaway wins the title back, there's going to be a huge celebration that I'm masking as my dad's birthday party..LOL! So, if you're in VA (hehe), come on over, we'll watch the Deadman take back what's rightfully his, drink a beer or two (or twenty!) and just enjoy the show..  
  
Oh yea, this has nothing to do with this column, but I'd like to promote something of my own that will soon be posted here on FF.net. It's a story entitled "Death Becomes Her" and it stars Mark Callaway, of course. I'm not going to give anything away, I pretty much just wanted to use this opportunity to let you guys know it's coming.  
  
Take it easy, be safe wherever you are.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!  
  
-end- 


	7. An Explanation of Sorts.

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 7  
  
Disclaimer: yadda, yadda, yadda. Don't own 'em, never will. Want the Deadman, probably won't ever have him..LOL!  
  
Gotta do something different tonight. I think some explanations are in order. I've just been reading the reviews and I'd like to take this time to thank all the people who have read, reviewed, and liked my ongoing tribute to one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, The Undertaker.  
  
It's no secret that I've been absolutely in love with him for years, nor is it any secret that I don't really get into all the other wrestlers out there. Sure, they are talented, but they aren't The Undertaker!  
  
To answer the fan posting as "Cactus Jack", no I don't like Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Van Dam, Guerrero, or Benoit. But it's all to a certain extent. I admire them all for their talent and abilities, but I really can't get into them. Perhaps "dislike" is too strong a word, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm their biggest fan!  
  
To "FemalePhenom", thank you for your kind words. It means a lot that the fans of The Almighty Undertaker aren't scared to show their love and adoration. I also can't wait for 'Taker to kick Hogan's "geriatric" ass (your words..LOL!) Sunday at "Judgment Day". I would hope for a long title reign. We will just have to keep our fingers crossed. (  
  
"Adrienne Drusilla Daae", I can't agree more. Hogan has had his fair share of the spotlight, and now it's time for him to stand aside and let someone younger and more capable take center stage. What kind of finishing move is that damned Leg Drop his old ass does anyway?!  
  
I'm not taking the storylines too seriously, "mystic queen". I just don't like hearing The Phenom get booed every time he walks out. I'm sure that as a fan of Jericho's, it must disappoint you to hear that shit each time his music hits. I'm sure that Angle's fans (however few there are) get upset when fans chant "you suck" to the tune of his entrance music. It's not that I think it's real. I am just a diehard, loyal fan and get disgusted when people have the audacity to boo when The American Badass's music hits. And yea, I got terribly pissed when his bike was destroyed, not because I think wrestling is real, but because The Undertaker got screwed…again!  
  
To "paper-cut", if I did truly own the Federation, Hogan's ass would be the first man fired, followed by Flair (though I like Ric). I'm getting tired of seeing all these old guys in the ring. I'm sure you all agree to a certain extent. I mean, hell Hogan was through long ago. His movies sucked ass, his wrestling moves suck ass. Even his silly red and yellow costume sucks. That beard shudders is horrible!  
  
Finally, "Tundra", you are right. He is hot…his eyes are just WOW! It's nice to hear these nice things about one of the most misunderstood wrestlers in the business. Hope he is lucky enough to keep all of us as fans for the time he has left.  
  
And oh yea, he is really 40! Mark was born March 24, 1962. I guess that means he has about 5-8 good years left, unless he pulls a Hogan and wrestles till he's 90! Can't you guys see him coming out there hobbling with a cane? LOL! That's not a hit to the 'Taker, it would just be kinda funny.  
  
Alright. I'm ending this for tonight. Too tired to write more. I hope everyone out there is doing well. Let's all keep our fingers crossed for The Undertaker at this Sunday's "Judgment Day". Goodnight all.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!  
  
-end- 


	8. More Ramblings of a Twisted Mind

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 8  
  
Disclaimer: sigh I wish I owned something, especially Mark Callaway/The Undertaker. But since I don't, I'll just pretend and continue to write these columns.  
  
Good evening all. We are counting down the days until "Judgment Day". Just two more days. I know I'm excited as hell! I can't wait for the day The Undertaker becomes Undisputed Champion.  
  
"Cactus Jack", I think you can definitely say I'm a huge fan of the old school Undertaker. While it took me a little bit of time to warm up to The American Badass, I have to say that I love him still, perhaps even more. No doubt he was more hardcore and phenomenal as the Man from the Dark Side, but he's still cool. He still elicits fear in the hearts of those he faces in the squared circle.  
  
Yea, it took me a while, but I still love him. He's still the same Undertaker in there somewhere, and I hope that Sunday, while facing that decrepit fool Hogan, we will see the old school start to come back out. I really miss the all black outfits, and his beautiful long hair, but as a fan, I have to say that my loyalties haven't changed. My heart and soul belong to Deadman, Inc.  
  
On a "Judgment Day" side note, I didn't know that "Kirk Angel" (as Jericho referred to him) and Edge had an altercation on "Smackdown", but it seems the Olympic Jackass cut out a plug of Edge's gorgeous hair! I can't imagine how that match will end, but I have bad feelings for Edge!  
  
Does anybody else out there miss Kane as much as I find I do? It just isn't the same without The Big Red Machine out there. I hope Glen heals quickly and finds his way back into the ring soon. He is missed by us all. =-)  
  
You know, I've been thinking about that stuff I heard from my Dad a lot here lately. He got some info from a good friend of his and I'm not sure I like it! I think I already said this, but the guy said that Mark Callaway's wife was cheating on him with Paul Levesque (Triple H). I said this before too. It does make sense. I mean, Mark interfered at the last PPV and was fined. Paul interfered the next night on "Raw" and was fined. It all adds up, but Lord knows I hope it isn't true. Mark doesn't need that in his life.  
  
Anyway, I'm watching "Wrestlemania 15" again, and it's pretty intense. My favorite "Wrestlemania" moment is, of course, "Wrestlemania 13" and The Undertaker's winning of the title. (He beat Sid for it.) At the moment, Vince is taunting the Big Show and Show just knocked him out. I laugh every time I see it!  
  
Alright, I think that's about it for tonight. Time to watch the rest of "Wrestlemania", then on to "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". I love those guys! "Ladies, ladies, ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizz-house!" You guys have a great night and I'll holler at you all tomorrow.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!  
  
-end-  
  
"I will strike down upon thee with anger and furious vengeance!"  
  
"Try me: I'll make you famous."  
  
"It's my yard, and I'm the big dog." 


	9. Another Explanation

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 9  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em, but I can keep dreamin'. Wouldn't mind owning 'Taker/Mark for a while though!  
  
Ok, this isn't really a discussion, per se, but I did want to clear up a few things before "Judgment Day" tonight. To answer Jeffrey, it's not that I would get rid of the other top guys in the Federation (won't call it by that other name, hell no!) Nor would they open my shows forever.  
  
I'd just like them to get a taste of what Mark Callaway has been subjected to these last 5 years or so. Can you believe that The Undertaker hasn't been champion in that long?! It's amazing that he hasn't held that title since Wrestlemania 13. If I'm wrong on that one, please correct me, but that's the last title reign I remember. If he did have another, I'm sure it didn't last long!  
  
Anyway, I wouldn't build my Federation on just The Undertaker. He would just be my main ingredient. As for the guys I don't like, I'll make a short list here. Triple H, Hogan, The Rock, Billy and Chuck, Chris Jericho, Booker T, X-Pac, Matt Hardy, Steven Richards, Jazz, and Eddie Guerrero. There are many reasons I don't like them, and I'll explain more later. Stone Cold is on that list as often as he isn't. He does supply comic relief, but his stupid "What?" phrase pisses me off.  
  
The guys I do like are The Undertaker, Bubba Dudley, Spike Dudley, Rob Van Dam (sometimes), Edge, Road Dogg (I miss you Brian!), Bradshaw, Farooq, Ric Flair, Tajiri, Torrie Wilson, Molly Holly, Trish Stratus, Scott Hall, Kane (get well soon Glen!), and Val Venis (he's hot, I can't help it!)  
  
Now, when one of those guys is in the ring with The Undertaker, I have to say that I always pull for 'Taker. He's my man, and he always will be. But I did want to clear that up for you guys. There are only like two superstars I can't stand at all and they are Hogan and The Rock. Can't stand them, and I never will! It's all about the 'tude. And theirs suck ass!  
  
Ok, that's pretty much all I wanted to say for now. Of course there will be more later, after the show tonight. Talk to you all later.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!  
  
-end- 


	10. How Sweet It Is! Taker is Undisputed Ch...

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 10  
  
Disclaimer: Everybody wishes they owned part of the NEW Undisputed Champion, The Undertaker, but only Vince does, so I guess we're out of luck huh? I want him for just one night, one night!!  
  
How sweet it is folks! I have your "Judgment Day" results right here. As you may not know, The Undertaker has defeated Hulkamania for the Undisputed Championship. I'll get to the details of that match later, but I feel the need to once again say it. The Undertaker reigns supreme! He has "climbed the mountain and can once again say that he's the man!" That's a quote from JR tonight! And like he said, "there ain't a damned thing anybody can do about it!"  
  
takes deep calming breaths Alright, here are the results in order. Starting things off was a match between Rob Van Dam and Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship. Both men fought hard and missed their frog splashes. Guerrero ended up winning the match by rolling up and pinning RVD with his feet planted on the ropes. Sorry way to start out, I figured that would set the tone for the rest of the event.  
  
Trish Stratus put her Women's Championship on the line against Vince McMahon's new personal assistant, Stacy Keibler. Stacy was escorted by the good Reverend, D-Von Dudley and Deacon Batista. Don't ask! Anyway, D-Von assured everyone that Bubba would not make an appearance that night to be in Trish's corner, as he had called him earlier and told him not to. Bubba doesn't listen well, because soon after Trish's entrance, here he came. The match didn't last long, and Trish prevailed. She left poor Bubba alone in the ring with his "half-brother". D-Von went after him and ended up face busting him through a table with the Deacon's assistance. Sucks for Bubba fans, like myself.  
  
Cameras cut to the backstage area and Ric Flair's dressing room. Vince came in and the two men shared a handshake and eventually a hug, but Vince didn't look too happy.  
  
Anyway, back to the show. Um, the Hardy Boys faced off next with Brock and Heyman. That match was retarded. I got bored and didn't watch. I saw the end though. Um, Brock did his special, some kind of flying DDT looking thing. Heyman begged to come in, and he pinned Jeff Hardy. WOW!  
  
Next match was the handicap match between Flair, Big Show, and Austin. It was a hard fought match for the Rattlesnake, as he ended up spending more time on his back then he did on his feet. He blocked Big Show's chokeslam by hitting him with a big-time stunner. He then hit Flair with a stunner and scored the pin fall.  
  
This next match really had me on the "edge" of my seat. It was the Hair vs. Hair match with Angle and Edge as the participants. After several very close pinning predicaments, Edge finally prevailed. Angle fled the scene and wouldn't be found till much later.  
  
The Hell in a Cell match between Triple H and Jericho came next. After both men were locked in the cell, Jericho proceeded to beat down and bloody The Game. The referee, Tim White, was knocked out and Jericho picked him up and proceeded to bloody him as well. Finally, some of the other referees came down to open the cage and attend to the fallen official. Jericho climbed the cage as Triple H searched for his 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. Upon locating it, he joined Chris on top of the cell, where he was beaten by his own weapon. Jericho then put the Walls of Jericho on him, but there was no ref. Not until Mike Chiota climbed aboard to make the call. Hunter broke the hold and hit Jericho with the 2x4 and then Pedigreed him on top of the cell for the three count. I kind of enjoyed this match. It's not every day you get to see two guys you really don't like broken and bleeding!  
  
I don't even want to talk about this next match, but I guess I have to. Billy and Chuck put their tag titles up for grabs against Rikishi and an opponent to be named later. His partner turned out to be none other than Rico, Billy and Chuck's manager. Finally, the match ended when Rico came in and accidentally hit the champs. Rikishi did a martial arts kick to both Billy and Rico and got the victory. Rico didn't look too thrilled, but he did pick up his belt and exited.  
  
After this, Edge caught up with Angle and got him into the barber's chair. He shaved Angle's head himself and slapped him hard across his jaw. He got a microphone and stated that the fans wouldn't chant "you suck" when his music hit, now they would chant "you're bald!" And sure enough, the fans did just that. It was funnier than hell to see Angle bald!  
  
Then, finally, the main event. Taker came out to different music, but it fit the mood. Not as upbeat as "Rolling" but it worked. Hogan came out and it was on. I've never seen The Undertaker back body dropped, or superplexed off the top rope, but Hogan did both, much to my chagrin. Taker took the abuse and even survived two big boots off the ropes and one of Hogan's patented leg drop. My jaw fell wide open when Taker kicked out. I was so proud! Vince McMahon came down as Taker was subjected to another leg drop. He distracted the ref long enough for Taker to get his wits about him. He cracked Hogan's back with a steel chair and chokeslammed him straight to hell, earning himself his very first Undisputed Championship ever! He stood in the ring, tall and proud, and got the referee, Earl Hebner, to place the title around his waist. His arm was hoisted in the air and it was an awesome moment. Seeing Hogan laying there, defeated at the hands of the Mighty Undertaker was huge! I like JR's comment, "Hulkamania might not be dead, but it's sure as hell on life support!" I laughed my ass off. Taker made like he was leaving, but decided to dish out more punishment. He placed the top of a chair against Hogan's throat and smashed him onto the ground. He then hit him a few more times before holding his belt up for all of the world to see. It was awesome!  
  
So yes, The Undertaker is once again the champion. This makes four times in his illustrious career that he has held the gold around his waist. Of course, it's the first time he's been able to say that he's Undisputed Champion. I can't wait to see the belt after they engrave his name on it! I'm so happy I don't know what to do. I know, I'm going to watch it again! Drink a few beers and kick back, because it's MY man on top now! MY man! And I hope to see him on top of this particular mountain for a long time to come. I'll have more tomorrow night for you, after it's had some time to really sink in. I'd advise everyone to watch Raw tomorrow night, it's going to be huge!  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!  
  
"I'm going to be the judge, jury, and executioner of Hulkamania!" 


	11. You WILL Respect The Undertaker

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Part 11  
  
Disclaimer: Haven't we gone over this before? You know what I'm talking about. Pretty much, I don't own the guys, I would only want to own one, but that's not gonna happen.  
  
  
  
Anyway. I have to apologize for my column being posted so late. My Grandma gave us quite a scare last night and had to be rushed to the hospital. Thankfully all is well.  
  
Um, I know this is going to sound bad, but my mind really isn't entirely on this tonight, so pardon me if I do things a little differently. I have your Raw results, but rather than tell a story with them, I'm just going to lay them out on the table.  
  
RVD, fresh off his "Judgment Day" experience, came down at the very beginning of Raw. JR was talking about some of the things that had gone down at the PPV, including the Undertaker's victory over Hulk Hogan. He didn't get the words out of his mouth when the Undertaker himself charged down the ramp and attacked RVD. He split RVD's eye open on the ring post and climbed into the ring, leaving Van Dam a bloody mess.  
  
He basically told the fans that things were going to change since he was the champ now. When Taker has something to say, Taker's coming down to say it, whether there is someone in the ring or not. He said that they had two choices. Get out of his way or get their asses kicked. He said that he not only took Hogan's title, but he killed Hulkamania. I laughed when he said, "Check this out. May Hulkamania Rest In Peace. He then talked about respect. "You will respect The Undertaker." He made that point abundantly clear. Meanwhile, RVD stumbled back in the ring and attacked the Taker, even going so far as to put his Five Star Frog Splash on the Man.  
  
Taker charged into the back and told Flair he wanted RVD that night. Flair gave him the match and then upped the stakes. It was to be an Undisputed Title match. Taker wasn't pleased, but was forced to accept. Ok, that's the beginning. Now, here are the matches, and no, this might not be in order, but you get the idea.  
  
/The Hardy Boys vs. Big Show and X-Pac.  
  
Winners: The Hardys, thanks to Goldust's interference.  
  
/Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline Women's Championship  
  
Winner: Trish Stratus with a Bulldog.  
  
Paul Heyman had approached Trish earlier and had basically asked her to have sex with him. He and Brock came down to ringside after Trish's match and demanded an answer. Trish screamed no, and Paul sent Brock in after her. Bubba came to the rescue and he and Lesnar faced off. Heyman held Brock back, but that would play a big part later on.  
  
/Steven Regal vs. Bubba Dudley European Championship  
  
Winner: Steven Regal, thanks to Lesnar's interference. After a call of "Bubba! Get the table!" Bubba was attacked from behind and the match was tossed out.  
  
Booker T and Goldust vs. The Hardy Boys  
  
Winners: The Hardys..again.  
  
Um, X-Pac came down and kicked Goldust, which helped Matt Hardy as he rolled Goldust up for the pin. Kevin Nash came down as the New World Order argued in the ring. He declared he was the leader of the pack and whoever wanted in better say so then. The New World Order is a unit again, with Nash, X-Pac, Big Show, and Booker T.  
  
Ric Flair called out Stone Cold and basically benched him. Said if he wasn't wrestling, he couldn't get into trouble. Stone Cold went to Mugs Pub in Memphis with Debra and proceeded to drink a few beers. Eddie Guerrero (?) was there and bought Stoney a beer and Deb a teddy bear. Stoney refused both. Eddie ended up sing karaoke, I think. The song he butchered was "Shameless" by Garth Brooks. Stone Cold sang later. "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet, and "Family Tradition" by Hank Williams, Jr. Eddie took offense because Stoney didn't get booed the way he did. Eddie broke a beer bottle over Stoney's bald skull. That was the end of that.  
  
Oh yea, Raven was commentating with the King and JR and told the King that he didn't know anything about wrestling, but if he wasn't scared, Raven would teach him a thing or two again. King accepted and they squared off. King whipped his ass and Raven walked away, earning himself the defeat my count-out. But that's not the important thing. The King won in his own hometown, so that was cool.  
  
That brought us to the title match. RVD had the match well in hand (dammit). He and the Taker traded blows for a while, then Van Dam hit Taker with Rolling Thunder. The ref didn't see Taker's foot on the rope and made the three count, which made RVD the new champ! Needless to say, I was one pissed off woman! Flair ran down to the ring and said that since Taker's foot was on the ropes, the match would continue, RVD was NOT the champ. RVD turned to confront Flair and ended up being on the receiving end of The Undertaker's Last Ride. Taker was awarded the three count and retained his title, thank the Lord. Anyway, that was Raw for Monday May 20, 2002.  
  
I would write more, but it's after 7AM and I haven't slept yet. I may later. Take care wrestling fans.  
  
Before I end this, I would like to send my condolences to the family of David "The British Bulldog" Smith. Sadly, he passed away Sunday May 19, 2002. Smith was 39 years old. He will be missed in the wrestling community. Rest in peace Davey Boy.  
  
out of respect, I won't end this the way I normally do, nor will I have any quotes from the Undertaker here.  
  
-end- 


	12. Just a bit of gossip

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
By: Dead Man Walking  
  
Discussion 12  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I owned Mark Calaway for the night.  
  
Ok, I had to take a few days off to deal with some family stuff, but I'm back and I've got some gossip for you guys, going back to last Monday's Raw.  
  
Mark Calaway (The Undertaker) suffered a hip injury during his match with Hulk Hogan at "Judgment Day". Seems that when Hogan suplexed him off the top rope, his hip dislocated. He managed to wrestle through the pain and as you all know, won the title. The next night on Raw, he re-injured his hip or sciatic nerve in the opening segment with RVD. Trainers backstage told Calaway that he shouldn't wrestle that night or for the next couple of weeks, but you see how well he listened.  
  
Steve Williams, the charismatic portrayer of Stone Cold, isn't happy with the way the WWF (E, whatever) has been behaving lately. He has said that he wants more screen time with Eddie Guerrero because he feels like Eddie is the best athlete on the Raw roster right now.  
  
John Layfield (Bradshaw) isn't a happy camper right now. Top execs felt that if they pushed Bradshaw into the limelight by pairing him with Stone Cold, it would help boost his career. Seeing as how that didn't happen, they have decided to slow him down for a bit. So, don't expect to see too much of Bradshaw in the coming weeks. That's a shame there. He's one superstar I actually like!  
  
The rumor mill is abuzz after the now infamous plane incident involving Curt Hennig and Brock Lesnar. Hennig allegedly talked some trash to the rookie and Lesnar retaliated by tackling him in the middle of the aisle and applying some sort of wrestling move that made them hit the door. Hennig was released after the incident, much to the surprise of the guys backstage. He has always had a habit of ribbing people and breaking in rookies. There is a little bit of talk that Lesnar himself might be on the way out. Time will tell the tale with that one.  
  
For those of you who watched the PPV last Sunday, I'm sure you haven't forgotten Chris Jericho assaulting referee Tim White. White did suffer fairly severe injuries, a few fractured bones in his face and a separated shoulder.  
  
On Smackdown, Hogan did announce his retirement, but Vince had to ruin my happy moment by coming down there and telling him there was no chance in hell of Hogan walking out on him again. Big Evil, as The Undertaker is calling himself now, came down after Hogan attacked Vince and beat the hell out of him momentarily. Vince insisted that Hulkamania would die on his terms, not Hogan's.  
  
Let's talk about Scott Hall for a minute. The man used to be my number two favorite wrestler in the WWF. I loved his Razor Ramon angle. It's a shame that he couldn't control his drinking then and evidently can't now. He was released from the WWF two weeks ago after showing up to Raw drunker than hell. It was the last straw, and I doubt he will ever wrestle again.  
  
Remember the night Taker drug Hogan around the arena by his own bike? Seems that the guys backstage thought that was one of most hilarious sights they had ever seen. Nearly everyone in the backstage area was gathered around monitors laughing hysterically at the picture Hogan made. No doubt about that one. I nearly died laughing that night myself!  
  
Speaking of The Undertaker again, Jim Ross basically said that Mark injured his SI joint and lower back, which is something similar he went through a few months ago. Mark has vowed to work through any pain and discomfort. Ironically enough, I too have problems with my SI joint and it flared up tonight while I was at work. For the last 5 hours, I have felt what it's like to be in Mark Calaway's shoes, so I would basically like to say is this. The next time somebody says something horrible about The Undertaker, keep in mind that he's hurting..  
  
Here comes the injury report. The Undertaker and his back is just one of many. Spike Dudley hurt his neck in his match last Monday, but has been cleared by doctors to continue working. Hurricane Helms hurt his shoulder a bit when he landed awkwardly on it, but said it has happened before, so he will be ok. Triple H has re-injured his knee. The small fracture in his knee cap has re-opened. Doctors say he can work as long as he can tolerate the pain. The Rock underwent an MRI on his knee and found that he has torn his PCL and requires therapy for the next few weeks. If surgery were to take place, he'd be out for several months. Edge has a bruised fibula, but will be able to continue working. Hulk Hogan, though suffering from back pain, will continue to work as well. Kane continues therapy on his injured bicep, and underwent successful surgery April 16. He should return in three to four months. Get well soon Kane! We miss you!  
  
Chris Benoit will be soon taking hits in the ring again. His surgeon, Dr. Lloyd Youngblood has told Chris that he will be able to wrestle full time by the end of June. I look forward to seeing him back in the ring. Pound for pound, he's one tough bastard.  
  
Moving on to our Olympic bald Angle. Kurt says he's going to participate in the 2004 Olympics. He says he's not too old, and that he feels good, almost like he's peaking. He will start training in December, which is in his contract. He also announced that he and his wife will be having their first child in December. Congrats to the Angle family. (  
  
Anyway, that's enough for tonight! I'll get back on here tomorrow and finish. Till then, take it easy.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN!  
  
"You will respect The Undertaker."  
  
"Come on down here and look Big Evil in the eyes." 


	13. Raw Recap

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 13  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I just want Mark Calaway! Is that too much to ask?  
  
I have your Raw recap here, though I'm still scratching my head about it. First off, Chris Benoit made his television return and made it plain that he's just a few weeks away from making his wrestling return and proving why he's "the best damned technical wrestler" out there. Guerrero popped down and said it was great to see Chris back. He told Benoit that Chris was jealous of Eddie's success. Benoit denied it and Flair come down, said that no Smackdown guy was gonna mess with one of his Raw boys, so if Benoit didn't have a ticket, he'd better get the hell out of there. Benoit pushed Eddie down and Flair called for security. Benoit left, faking a punch at Flair.  
  
The first match of the evening was a yawner, featuring William Regal and Molly Holly facing Spike Dudley and Trish Stratus. Spike dominated Regal, so he tagged in Molly, who promptly slapped her "ex". He had to tag in Trish, and Trish took care of Miss Molly, scoring the 3 count and retaining her Women's Championship. Regal gave Molly his brass knucks and she used them to hit Trish.  
  
They cut to Terri interviewing Steven Richards on the condition of Jazz. He said she was doing great, and that she was just so cute and cuddly. Jackie came down and questioned his opinion of Jazz. Jackie stomped his foot and hit him with the mic and came very close to becoming the Hardcore Champion. Planet Stasiak came down and pulled Jackie off, and pinned Richards, but Steven kicked out. Bossman came down and he and Shawn started a brawl, leaving Steven on the ground. Terri pinned him and became Hardcore Champ, but was rolled up by Richards, so he regained his title.  
  
Booker T and X-Pac had a match against the Hardy Boys and the New World Order dominated, with X-Pac landing the X-Factor. Booker did his spinarooni (sp?) and they left. Nash had said earlier that if any of the boys lost their matches, they would be out of the group and Big Nasty would kick the person's ass that lost.  
  
It cut to Heyman asking how Trish was doing after being hit with the brass at the beginning. Trainers said she was fine and Paul tried to sneak in her dressing room, only to find Bubba waiting for him. He attacks Heyman and tells him to stay away from Trish and to tell his boy Brock that Bubba was the true Next Big Thing.  
  
Tommy Dreamer came down to ringside to tell the people that he was normal. There's nothing different between him and us. Tommy spots a guy eating hotdogs. He goes to grab it, but they all fall on the floor. Tommy picks up the hotdog from the floor, wipes it on the floor to pick up the fallen mustard and starts to eat it. He gets back in the ring to talk about how normal he is, when The Red Devil himself, The Undertaker, marches to the ring. The Undisputed Champion takes a mic and stares at Dreamer, who is liking his fingers. Taker wonders about Dreamer being a normal, average guy. Taker is the WWE Undisputed Champion, and now Dreamer is on his time. He suggests that Tommy go to the back. Tommy starts to explain, but Taker cuts him off. Even Hulk Hogan didn't take up his time. RVD didn't take up Taker's time. So what makes this sideshow freak think he can take up the Undertaker's time? He tells Tommy to get the hell out. Tommy starts to leave, but Taker calls him back in. Taker says that, since he's here and Tommy's here, why not have an Undisputed Title match? Tommy jumps back in and says that he wants a shot. Taker says that he's not going to get a shot, because he's not worthy. There's a dressing room full of wrestlers in the back, and not a single one of them poses a challenge to him. But because he's a nice guy and since Tommy loves to entertain the people by doing disgusting things, here's one. Taker reaches out and grabs his tobacco spitting glass. He tells Tommy to drink it. Tommy says he can't do it. Taker says that he's not asking for him to do it, he's telling him. Dreamer says that it's too gross. Taker tells Dreamer to either drink the spit, or he'll be forever eating through a tube. Tommy takes the glass and puts it to his lips, but Taker takes it back. Taker spits a huge wad of tobacco into the cup and hands it back to Dreamer. Tommy drinks it down and says that it's pretty good. Taker turns around in disgust and then punches Dreamer in the face. Taker whips Tommy hard into the corner, then slams him down. He pulls Tommy up and tosses him out of the ring. On the outside, Taker gets a chair, puts it around Tommy's head, and rams it into the steel post. Taker gets a mic and says that that is disgusting.  
  
Bubba and Brock wrestle next and Bubba started out strong. Heyman got involved and Bubba whipped him into the corner. Lesnar charged, but hit Paul. Bubba hit the Bubba Bomb, but Lesnar kicked out. Heyman tripped Bubba up and Lesnar hit his version of the TKO for the 3 count. Am I the only person who hates Paul Heyman?  
  
In the arena, the Big Show makes his way to the ring in the second of the nWo's "must win" matches. Bradshaw comes down and jumps right in the ring. Bradshaw takes out Show's knee and lays into it. Chops by Bradshaw, but Show clotheslines him down. Headbutt by Show. Punches in the corner by Show, who then tosses Bradshaw across the ring. Clothesline by Show, then more headbutts. Scoop slam by Show, then an elbow drop. Big Boot by Bradshaw, then another. They exchange punches, and Bradshaw clotheslines Show, but he doesn't fall. Bradshaw misses a boot and lands on the ropes. Show Stopper to Bradshaw for the 3 count.  
  
Goldust and Crash were up next and The Bizarre One was sporting the black and white  
  
New World Order t-shirt. He beat Crash with a front suplex and hauled ass when Nash's music hit. Nash gave Crash the big boot and raised his arms. Goldust mimicked him on the outside. I dunno! laughs  
  
Eddie comes down, still wearing his belt for the Ladder Match for his Intercontinental Title. RVD comes down and the match is on. On the outside, RVD whips Eddie into the ringpost, then slams him into the apron. Van Dam lays Eddie on the barrier, then spin kicks down onto him. Eddie comes back, whipping RVD into the ladder, then stomping away like crazy. Suplex by Eddie, who now finds that the ladder is broken, so he just tosses it onto Van Dam. Eddie tries to smash it onto RVD, but finding it broken, tosses it aside. Back in the ring, Eddie hits a hard back elbow. Elbows to the head by Eddie, who then wraps RVD's legs around the ringpost. Eddie gets a chair and cracks it across RVD's knee. Stomps by Eddie, then punches in the corner. High angle backsuplex by Eddie. Punches in the corner by Eddie, but RVD comes back with a monkey flip. Eddie powerbombs Van Dam down. Eddie goes outside and pulls out another ladder, but RVD baseball slides it into Eddie's face. Eddie lifts up the ladder as RVD moonsaults to the outside, smashing the ladder onto Eddie. As the two men lay motionless, we see that Chris Benoit is walking down the stands. Security stops him, but he flashes a ticket. We come back as Eddie Guerrero smashes the ladder into RVD's face. Eddie gets into the ring and sets up the ladder. Eddie climbs up, but RVD goes up top and dropkicks the ladder out from under Guerrero. RVD hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker onto the ladder, then hits Rolling Thunder on Eddie. Van Dam hits Eddie with a low dropkick just to make sure before he starts setting up the ladder. Van Dam climbs up, but Eddie regains himself and climbs the other side. Eddie smashes Van Dam's face into the ladder and hits an incredible Sunset Flip Powerbomb from over the ladder! God damn! Eddie starts climbing the ladder when some dumb-ass drunken Canadian knocks the jumps in the ring and knocks the ladder down. Before security can get to him, Eddie stomps the shit out of him, deservingly. Eddie resets the ladder and goes up top, easily able to grab the belt, but instead he swantons over the ladder onto Van Dam! Eddie gets a chair and sets it in the corner, but Van Dam reverses and smashes Eddie into it. Stomps by Van Dam, then a running dropkick into the chair into Eddie's face. Van Dam takes the ladder down and sets it on Eddie's body, before hitting the no-legged moonsault onto it! Van Dam sets up the ladder and climbs, but Eddie pulls him down. Eddie suplexes Van Dam into the ladder. Eddie sets the ladder in the corner, but Van Dam reverses and whips Eddie into it. Van Dam goes for the monkey flip, but Eddie blocks and 'buckles Van Dam. RVD leaps but misses, but then monkey flips Eddie into the ladder. Again RVD lays the ladder on Eddie, and again he hits Rolling Thunder onto it. As Van Dam sets the ladder, Eddie dropkicks his legs out from under him. Eddie picks up the chair, but RVD hits the Van Daminator! RVD takes the ladder and sets it up in the corner. Van Dam climbs up to the top of the ladder and looks for a giant 5-Star, but the ladder gives way and RVD falls to the mat. Eddie takes the opportunity to go up top, but Van Dam leaps up and spin kicks him off the turnbuckle and onto the barrier. Van Dam sets the ladder in the middle of the ring, climbs up and grabs the belt! Rob Van Dam regains the Intercontinental Title in the best IC match I've ever seen! Van Dam climbs the turnbuckle to celebrate, but Eddie hits him with the ladder and knocks him to the outside. The glass breaks and Austin runs down to the ring, beating the hell out of Eddie. Flair and Arn run down, only to get beat down. Back bodydrop to Flair. Benoit jumps the barrier and gets in the ring to force Eddie out, but then clocks Austin from behind! Benoit is beating up Austin! Snapmare by Benoit as Eddie goes up top for the Frog Splash! As Benoit and Eddie stomp on Austin, Flair and Anderson laugh from the ramp. (thanks to Matt Boone for this piece. I don't like either participant, so I kinda borrowed his re-cap of this match..LOL!)  
  
I'm glad RVD won the IC title. Now he will leave the Big Evil alone for a bit! Raw last night was actually pretty good, the ladder match was awesome. It was nice to see Taker not have to defend his title. The man needs time to heal a bit first. We shall see how things go. I'm out of here.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN 


	14. Umm, how bout just Stuff?

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 14  
  
Disclaimer: Â I own nothing. Â Suing me would get you nothing, so what's the point?  
  
  
  
Well, it's Sunday night and I haven't had anything of interest to say since last Monday. Â I doubt if that interested too many people anyway! Â At any rate, I'm just gonna ramble a little bit about things I've heard and seen this past week. Â   
  
First off, on Velocity, they showed highlights from Smackdown (which I don't get to watch). Â Got to see Taker put up his title against Randy Orton. Â Decent match, Taker prevailed of course. Â He attempted to do to Randy what he did to Dreamer last week on Raw. Â Trips came down in all his big nosed glory and attacked Taker from behind. Â He demanded a title shot, saying he was worthy of such a shot. Â Taker left, without saying anything. Â Later on, during Trips' match with Test, Taker came down and attacked Trips. Test won the match and Taker took care of Big Shnoz. Â He hit him a few times then hit with a huge chokeslam. Â Taker got the chair and hit him a few times with it before leaving. Â It was great watching him beat the hell out of that stupid ass Trips.  
  
On the gossip front, things are sort of quiet right now. Â Bill Goldberg probably won't sign with the NWA now because Scott Hall, who he hates, was just signed there. Â Goldberg has said that he will talk only if Vince McMahon himself calls him. Â So far, Vinnie Mac has yet to place that call. Â Who cares though? Â Goldberg badmouthed the WWF after WCW folded and now he wants the WWF to beg him to be on their show? Â Whatever!  
  
Maven broke his leg during the Smackdown taping last Tuesday in a match against Christian. Â Maven got a kiss from Torrie, and Tajiri saw backstage and interfered. Â He kicked Maven off the top rope. Â Maven got up and continued the match and broke his fibula attempting to do a baseball slide. He is expected to only miss 4-6 weeks.  
  
There is some talk that the nWo will be turning face. Â With the possible resurrection of the Four Horseman, I guess it would make sense, though I don't care either way. Â The nWo just isn't the same without Hall. Â Yea, I'm like the only fool on the planet with anything nice to say about Scott Hall. Â   
  
Ok, King of the Ring is coming up and we already know that Taker will put up his title against the Nose of the North, Triple H. Â There is talk that Taker will successfully defend the title since his cocky attitude is fresh. Â After just one month runs by Trips and Hogan, they say the title needs stability. Â And who better to hang on to it for a while than Big Evil? Â He's the one who's been there day in and out for 12 years and I think he deserves it, since it is his last run as Champion after all. Â We'll just have to wait and see on this one. Â If he loses, I just wish it was to someone a little more deserving than Trips. Â How bout Stoney? Â hehe  
  
The Tough Enough2 champions were crowned and I was very disappointed that Jake didn't walk away with a contract. Linda and Jackie (?) were the champs. Â I don't like Jackie, I didn't from the beginning, but...  
  
Edge knocked his shoulder out of socket during the cage match on Smackdown taped Tuesday. Pain set in which led to Edge seeing the Toronto Maple Leafs' team doctor who reset the dislocated shoulder. An MRI revealed a torn labrum that will probably require surgery. Edge is expected to miss some ring time, if at least, reduce his in-ring activities until after rehabilitation or surgery.  
  
Mark Henry is concentrating on becoming the World's Strongest Man again and won't be back in the ring much till the competition is over. Â Expect to see him more after all is said and done. Â   
  
Jerry "The King" Lawler has written an autobiography. Â Fans should see it in the stands in December. Â Hogan's will be out in October. Â   
  
Rey Mysterio, JR will be making his Smackdown debut sometime very soon. Â He's been training hard and working in OVW. Â   
  
Taker continues to have problems with his hip and lower back due to his SI joint injury sustained at "Jugdment Day". Â He has been given the option to rest and not work quite as much, but he's has refused and is paying the price. Â It's a nagging injury that has plagued him throughout his career. Â The match with Randy Orton on Smackdown appeared to nearly kill him. Â He's in very obvious pain and I wish I could pat him on the back for being such a big man and working through it. Â   
  
Jeff Hardy will be taking about a month off since he's been working nearly 7 days a week. Â He will rest and build up his strength and hopefully be less burned out when he returns. Â So that means we get a month long break from that silly dancing or whatever it is he does. Â Hey, that opens up like 30 more minutes on Raw now! Â   
  
An incident took place backstage at last night's USA Wrestling show in Nashville, it involved Jim Cornette and Ed Ferrara, and was not an angle. Ed Ferrera went to shake Jim Cornette's hand, then in return Cornette started telling him off. Jim told off Ferrera for insulting his good friend Jim Ross, by mocking Ross on both WWF and WCW television. Cornette spat in Ed Ferrera's face, before things almost got out of hand and had to be broken up backstage. Ferrera asked "What was that for?", and Jim made it clear that it was for JR. Â (Cain, Ryan).  
  
Davey Boy Smith's life was chronicled on WWE Confidential with Mean Gene Okerlund. Â There was commentary from his widow, Diana Hart Smith, the man who discovered him, Bruce Hart, The Brooklyn Brawler, William Regal, and The Undertaker. Â   
  
They all said how Davey was such a talented athlete and how he liked to have fun. Â Taker said he remembered Davey would steal towels from his gym bag just to be funny. Â He said that he would remember Davey as a phenomenal athlete and a fun guy to be around. Â He said that Davey will go down as one of the greats. Â   
  
On that note, I'm going to end for tonight. Â Raw results will be up tomorrow. Â Till then, be safe and take care.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN! 


	15. Raw Results..Jeff Hardy sucks

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Part 15  
  
Disclaimer: Everyone wishes they owned a part of the Undisputed Champion. But since only Vince does, I guess that just about does it..  
  
  
  
Raw Results.  
  
Here are your Monday, June 3 Raw results from Dallas, TX. Kicking things off tonight was a discussion from Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, and Arn Anderson. Flair told Anderson that if Stoney showed up, to kindly tell him that they were in the ring. They made their way out with about 2 dozen security officers. Flair said that even though they were in Texas, the Rattlesnake wasn't wrestling because he was benched. If Austin had a problem with it, he could talk it over with Arn. Stoney appeared on the TitanTron holding Anderson up. Anderson wasn't talking because Austin had apparantly beat him up. Flair got pissed and ended up giving Stoney one more chance. If Stoney could beat the Nature Boy, he could wrestle again. If he didn't win, he would be Ric's personal assistant. Stoney accepted and the match was to be later.  
  
Bradshaw and Steven Richards had a brawl for the Hardcore Title. After digging under the ring and finding a saddle, some rope, and a set off bull horns, Bradshaw proceeded to hog tie Steven and win himself a Hardcore Title. Justin Credible came down, so did Crash Holly, but Bradshaw fended them off and walked away the Champ. He wouldn't let Jackie (the special referee) hold his arm up, but he was the winner.  
  
It cut to the nWo arguing backstage. Nash tells them all to shut up. He said that X-Pac and Booker had KOTR qualifying matches and if they lost, they were out of the nWo. Booker said that Goldust should be in the Order, and Nash basically agreed that if X-Pac lost to Goldust, Goldust was in and Pac was out.  
  
They wrestled next and it wasn't a horrible match. There were several close pinfalls, and I laughed out loud when Goldshit hit Pac with the Bronco Buster. He tried it again and got kicked in the nuts. Pac hit his X-Factor and got the 1-2-3.  
  
It cut to RVD being interviewed by the Coach. Heyman came down with Brock and said that he is the one that made RVD and now RVD was going to meet the Next Big Thing, Brock Lesnar in a tag match later that night. It was RVD/Bubba Dudley vs. Brock/Guerrero.  
  
Matt Hardy was walking down a hall and you could hear a guitar in the background. It was Jeff playing. He told Matt that the Hardys were hypocrites. They needed to once again live life to the extreme. Matt asked him how they were gonna do that. Jeff said he would find out soon enough.  
  
It broke to ANOTHER segment. This time it was Stoney and Flair signing the contract for the match that night. Flair added more stipulations. Austin couldn't throw a single punch and if he lost, he was to be Flair's personal assistant. Of course, if Austin won, Flair would be his.  
  
We finally got to see another match. Trish Stratus put up her Woman's Championship against Terri in a Lingerie Match. They spar for a while in their bras and panties. The King was in heaven. Terri was in a thong! Anyway, Trish ended up scoring with Stratusfaction and kept her title. Molly came down with the brass knucks and tried to hit Trish, but Trish countered and hit her with the title. She took off her panties and there was a thong underneath. The King nearly died. LOL! Trish threw them on Molly and Molly got upset when she "woke" up.  
  
Next came the tag match. Brock and Bubba got things started and fought for a bit. Eddie and RVD tagged in and got it on. Bubba ended up putting Brock in the Bubba Bomb, but Eddie broke the count. Uh, the legal guys at the end were Eddie and RVD, but Brock and Bubba were fighting in the ring. Bubba got Brock out of the way, but it enabled Eddie to hit with his frog splash and end the match.  
  
Next came Booker and William Regal for the KOTR qualifying match. Booker won fairly easily and showed everyone the Spinarooni before exiting.  
  
It cut to Tommy Dreamer backstage looking as if he didn't feel well. Coach asked him what was wrong and he said that since he found out he would be wrestling Taker that night, he couldn't keep anything down. Coach told him that if he was sick then, wait till Tommy saw what Taker did to Trips on Smackdown. It showed Taker chokeslamming Trips and beating him with a chair. Dreamer puked once again in his tin bucket and it cut away.  
  
In the arena, Undertaker and Tommy Dreamer both headed to the ring for their non-title match. On his way out, Dreamer pukes some more in his bucket. Before the match, Dreamer takes some of his vomit and eats it! Taker looks a bit sick as he watched. The two lock up but the match quickly proceeded to the outside where Dreamer attempted a high cross body but got powerslammed to the mat instead. Taker tossed Dreamer back into the ring where he beat the hell out of Dreamer in one of the corners. Not too long after that, Undertaker hit a chokeslam followed by three elbow drops. Cover, but Taker pulls Dreamer up at two. Dragon sleeper by Taker results in a submission victory. After the match, Taker threw Dreamer to outside, then grabbed the bucket of vomit and poured it all over Dreamer's face. As Taker stood over watching, Jeff Hardy snuck up from behind and dropkicked Taker right into Dreamer and the puke. Jeff left and Taker turned to stare him down angrily. Backstage, Matt Hardy was talking to someone on the phone when Undertaker barged in and asked him where Jeff was. Matt said that he left so Taker asked him if he'd give him a message. Matt said sure anything and Taker kicked him and beat him down.  
  
After the commerical, nWo music hits and here came Big Nasty with an announcement. He said the new member of the Order would shake the foundation of the Federation. He said to bring on the newest member and none other than Shawn Michael's music hit and here he came with nWo T-shirt on. The fans were mixed, some cheered, some did nothing. Shawn showboated a bit and said nothing, just gave Nash a high five and they posed a bit.  
  
Main event time. Steve Austin and the Nature Boy (Whooooooooo!) Ric Flair. They got into a good old wrestling match with no punches thrown. Several near falls, and Flair poked him in the eye like 10 times. LOL! Austin finally hit with the Stunner, but Benoit distracted the ref and Guerrero put frog splash on Austin. Flair did figure four, Rattlesnake reversed it. He hit with another stunner, and that was it. Austin wins and Flair has to be his assistant now.  
  
That was Raw tonight. Hope all is well with everyone and I'll have more soon.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN! 


	16. Screw the Hardys!

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 16  
  
Disclaimer:  There are only four I wish I could own (Taker, Kane, Bradshaw, and Stoney), but since I don't...I'll just pretend while I write this column.  
  
Alright, alright.  Seems to me some fans are getting upset with me for trashing the WWF superstars.  People, you have to understand.  I respect all the guys out there for doing what they do.  They are all great entertainers and awesome athletes.  The only problem I have with any of them is the fact that most of the storylines are not believable.  
  
Ok, I will say it one more time.  I HATE THE FREAKIN' HARDYS!  There, are you happy no?  I used to like Jeff once upon a time, but the fad soon faded.  I'm not into a couple of little guys running around making little girls' hearts flutter.  Ready for another revelation?  I CAN'T STAND THAT WHINY ASS PIECE OF CRAP TRIPLE H, EITHER!  Hmm, with that one, I'm sure I'm pissing you guys off.  That's not a bad thing..that's a good thing.  Guys, understand something.  The Hardys and Trips are getting major pushes, and while I understand why the writers are doing it, I can tell you that I'm not happy about it.    
  
What has Trips done lately that is so impressive?  Hmm, he was out for like a year with his leg thing, comes back, promptly wins the Rumble and goes on to become Champ at Wrestlemania.  Wow.  Sure, I was glad to see Jerkaho lose the title, but not to him.  For the love of God, the man was handed that title.  He didn't have to work for it at all.  Course, if I was the one making the boss' daughter squeal, I'd be the WWF Undisputed Champion too!  Since her "banishment" from the squared circle, she's been "helping" a lot with the writing.  And she is going to push the hell outta Trips till he does something to piss her off!  Completely unfair to the rest of the guys that are more deserving of a title shot.  I'd give Jerkaho a shot quicker than Trips!  After all, Jerkaho was the very first Undisputed Champion and he defended it a lot more than Trips ever could.  
  
Anyway, moving on to the Hardys.  I'm sooo sorry that all these teeny- boppers out there think they are soo hot.  I've seen better looking things come outta my cat's ass!  They come out dressed like little thugs, but when they get on the mic (which, Thank the Lord, isn't very often!), they sound like they just fell off the turnip truck.  I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but they haven't done anything to impress me in a couple years now.  When they were doing ladder and table matches, I watched.  Now that they are doing their little feud thing with Brock Lesnar, I laugh my ass off.  S'pretty funny that those two can't even beat that punk ass!  Course, that's the writers for ya.  
  
Enough.  Just thinking about them makes me sick to my stomach.  I will not even begin to discuss the Rock and Hogan.  I'll tell ya someone I really like that is getting a decent push.  Bubba Dudley.  I think he's great!  I wish Bradshaw could get a push like that.  Of course, when they were pushing him, the intelligent writers couldn't figure out which direction he should go, so they dropped him.  Shows you how much they appreciate their talent.  
  
Let's talk about Kane for a bit now.  I'm almost positive the writers are already plotting ways to screw Glen when he comes back.  Kane is one of the best talents the federation has today and what are they doing with him?  Absolutely nothing.  They say he will take Taker's place once Big Evil retires, but unless they start writing him better, I don't see that happening.  Well, wait a sec.  Actually, I can see it.  Taker has been screwed so many times in his illustrious career, so I guess they are getting Kane used to it.  Yea, that must be it.  Boy, sure gives us fans something to look forward to.  
  
I can see it now.  No more Undertaker, which will destroy me.  Kane will be his replacement (yay!), but will be put on the backburner so the writers can concentrate on Trips and those stupid Hardys.  I'm sure Trips will be pushed till he's 50 freakin' years old a la Hogan.  Damn, he's only 33 or 34..that's nearly 20 more years of watching his big nosed self.  Gods, I am beginning to understand the phrase "hell on earth".    
  
Anyway, I think I have sort of made my point tonight.  By the way, this goes out to fans of Trips and the Hardys....sucks to have to take shit for being a fan, huh?  Maybe now you will understand what it's like to be a loyal and devoted fan of The Undertaker's.  You stop giving me shit, and I'll think about easing up a bit.  Till then, LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN! 


	17. Raw Results. Jeff Hardy STILL sucks!

"If I Owned the World Wrestling Federation"  
  
Discussion 17  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Want to borrow Mark Calaway for one night, but that's all.  
  
  
  
Raw Results 6/10/02 in Atlanta, Georgia. Starting things off was Ric Flair coming to ringside and announcing that even though he might not like it, he did lose to Stone Cold last week. And even though he doesn't want to do it, he has to become Stoney's assistant. Before he can really say more, Vince McMahon's music starts and out comes the Boss. He and Flair talk about how much of a disgrace Flair is to the WWF as an owner. Vince challenges Flair to a match later that night and the winner would have 100% interest in the WWF. Flair agrees, so we have our main event.  
  
The nWo member's backstage wanted to see HBK, but the door was locked and HBK was inside. Nash tells everyone to calm down and that Booker, Show, and Pac have a six man tag match against Stasiack, Dreamer, and Spike.  
  
After last week's interesting Tommy Dreamer and the puke bucket thing, he came down to the ring with the bucket again and looked as if he was about to vomit again. Booker turned his head and Dreamer dumped the bucket on him, but it was only confetti. Booker ended up scoring the win and did his Spinarooni for all the fans.  
  
Goldust stops Booker backstage and tells him to quit the nWo as Shawn Michaels isn't Goldust and Booker T's type. Booker says Goldust isn't his type and walks off.  
  
Molly is shown backstage being interviewed by Terri. She says she can't take Terri as a credible reporter because she poses in bikinis. She then calls her a slut basically and compares her to Trish, who is listening behind her. Trish says she's just jealous because Molly has a fat ass. Molly says she wants a match with Trish tonight, if she wins she gets a title shot at Trish. Trish agrees, but says if Molly loses, she has to get her fat ass into a thong for her next match.  
  
Flair is backstage pacing when Benoit and Guerrero come in and ask if he's crazy for putting up his 50% of the WWF. Flair says Eddie should just worry about his match against RVD for KOTR qualifying. Eddie says Flair had better win, or else.  
  
Bradshaw comes out next for a European title match against William Regal. His music is still APA, but his dress is pure Redneck Cowboy. Pretty boring match, as they have different styles. Some reject from Tough Enough 1 is in the audience and he tosses Regal brass knucks and Regal knocks out Bradshaw.  
  
Trish Stratus comes down to the ring in normal gear to Jerry Lawler's delight. It is pointed out that the Women's championship won't be on the line in this match. Clips are shown of Trish saying Molly has a big ass from earlier in the night. Molly comes down in her boring gear to new music and a new TitanTron video. Nothing really special. She gets an early advantage over Trish by tripping her from outside the ring before she gets in. Comments almost nonstop throughout the entire match from Lawler and JR agreeing with Trish that Molly has a big ass. Molly wins with a somersault off the top rope. This means she gets a title shot sometime against Trish. After the match she pulls out Trish's panties from last week and chokes Trish with them.  
  
Next is RVD and Eddie for KOTR. Both come down while The King and JR both agree that if their match tonight was half as good as their ladder match, it will be huge. RVD eventually wins the match after about 95 submission moves were put on.  
  
Backstage, The Undertaker arrived on a motorcycle and he headed toward the curtain. JR said it looked like Taker was on his way down there.  
  
Undertaker comes out and makes a WWF worker hold up his title. He says some people just don't get it. He is the WWF Champion and deserves to be treated with respect. He knows the people in Atlanta, GA. are not known for being very smart, but even they know Undertaker deserves to be treated with respect. Speaking of smart, that brings him to Triple H. HHH is supposed to be some smart guy. He asks JR what he used to call him, the Cerebral Assassin. He says if he's so damn smart, why didn't he know Undertaker was lurking in the shadows waiting for him on SmackDown! Clips are shown from SmackDown! last week of Undertaker attacking Triple H after his match with Hulk Hogan. Undertaker says HHH thinks that now he's the number one contender, he thinks he can beat Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring. Undertaker says the only shot he has is Undertaker walking in the ring and kicking his face off. Speaking of not being smart, let's move on to Jeff Hardy. Undertaker relives Jeff Hardy attacking him last week and kicking him into a pile of human vomit. Clips are shown of that. He says he knows Jeff Hardy is extreme, but Taker wonders if Hardy is just ready to die. He said they can do this the easy way, and as Jeff comes down to the ring he'll slap him around like the bitch he is. If he shows him the proper respect, Taker'll let him walk away. If Taker has to go after him, he'll inflict more pain then he thought was physically possible. He wants to know if it's gonna be the easy way, or is it gonna be the hard way. Hardy Boys music plays and out comes Matt Hardy with a Ladder and a microphone. He says this isn't about Jeff. Last week Taker disrespected Matt Hardy. Undertaker says come down here and he'll disrespect him again. Undertaker turns around and Jeff Hardy jumps off the top rope. Undertaker chokeslams him. Matt Hardy comes down, beats on Undertaker for a second, Undertaker then gets the better of him. Undertaker goes for the last ride on Matt, but Jeff clips his legs. Matt Hardy punches Undertaker, and Jeff brings the ladder in the ring. They clothesline Undertaker with the ladder twice. Jeff stands the ladder up, he goes to the top rope with the ladder in front of him, and he leap frogs it and lands in a leg drop on Undertaker. Hardy Boys music hits and they walk off. Undertaker left in the ring beaten up. Replay shows Jeff Hardy coming through the crowd and getting chokeslammed. Then the ladder clotheslines, followed by Jeff Hardy's leap frog over the ladder into a leg drop. Back live, Undertaker is shown getting up and he isn't happy at all. He say's "Someone's gonna die." I really think it's funny how all of a sudden the Hardys wanna play with Taker. Course, if they picked on someone more their own size, it'd be Crash Holly or Spike Dudley! Oh well, there's nothing I like better than seeing The Hardys get their asses whipped by Taker on a weekly basis.  
  
Bubba Ray comes out, same as always. Followed by Brock Lesnar, with Paul Heyman who comes out to new music..I think. Jim Ross plugs Brock Lesnar on the cover of the latest edition of RAW magazine, or WWE magazine. One of those magazines. Bubba Ray and Brock have a very typical big man match. Lots of power used. Loud Goldberg chants during the match. RAW is in Atlanta, which is Goldberg's hometown I believe, or at least is known for WCW which Goldberg dominated - what can you expect. Brock Lesnar hits a freakish over head belly to belly on Bubba Ray to the outside. Props to Bubba for taking a bump as nasty as that looked like. Not to mention, Brock hits about 3 more belly to belly suplex's inside the ring. Brock Lesnar selling way too much. He should be destroying everyone. Bubba nearly pins him, but Heyman pulls Bubba off of him. Bubba chases him around, into the ring, clotheslines Brock again, and pushes Heyman. He turns around and Brock hits his finisher on him for the three count.  
  
HBK came down to ringside and whined for a few minutes about how Stoney took his spotlight and it was the fans that killed the Heartbreak Kid by turning to Stoney. He says that's why he joined nWo. He states that there is a problem in the nWo..something stands out. He turns to Big Show and says that he's a 7'2", 500 lb. monster. Show starts to get pissed, but Shawn says thats what he loves about him. Then he says it might be lack of focus, so he turns to Pac. He tells Pac that even though he might not be focused, he's the best damned athlete in sports entertainment. He then turns to Booker and superkicks him before Booker has time to react. Big Show and Pac hold Booker up while Nash and HBK strip him of the shirt. So, Booker is out of nWo.  
  
Last was the Ownership match. Vince has gotten huge lately! The man is buff. He had Flair from the beginning. Flair would fight back, but Vince had his number. After about 8 minutes of back and forth, Ric puts on the Figure 4. Arn Anderson hops in the ring and taunts Vince. Brock comes down and Arn gets scared and leaves. Brock drops the elbow on Flair and does his finisher. Vince pins Flair and wins back total control of WWE. Yay for Vince.  
  
That's how the show ended. Wasn't all that great tonight. Stone Cold walked out on the WWF before the show started. Said he wasn't wrestling Brock Lesnar and losing like some bitch. Dunno where that's going, but I had reported that Stoney wasn't happy with the direction his character was taking. I'll keep ya posted on this one.  
  
Ok..Friday, June 8, 2002, I finally saw the WWF in person. It was amazing. Watching the guys on Raw tonight was awesome, since I saw most of them Friday night. Got my butt fondled by Justin Credible! LOL. He's the one guy I got to touch and he made the most of it..LOL! Talked briefly to Bubba Dudley as he and Spike and Tommy Dreamer pulled in. Bubba's pretty hot in person, but nothing can compare to seeing Red Devil, Big Evil in person. Damn the Undertaker is the sexiest man I have ever seen in my life. I couldn't speak or even think. The man makes me crazy. I got tears when he pulled in! That's how bad I have it for him! He put on a good show that night too, kicked RVD's ass! I'll add more to my adventures that night as soon as I can see the monitor again. I'm very tired! Gonna have some Taker dreams now. I Love you Undertaker!  
  
  
  
That's all for tonight. I'm going to have some weird dreams of Taker and myself doing weird things. eg Take care everyone and just in case someone actually reads this, do me a favor and check out my other story, "My Taker Dreams'' since it isn't showing up on the main list. Take it easy and stay safe everyone.  
  
LONG LIVE THE DEADMAN! 


End file.
